Work has been incredibly slow this summer. For a little background, I've been working as an audio/video tech for special events for the past year or so (something I'd never thought that I would ever be doing). It's challenging and it pays really well (considering I'm a still a student).
Even though it was relatively nice to actually "have a summer" I spent most of my time worrying about, "What am I going to do if I'm not working?!?!?!"
Now school starts and I take an internship. Literally a couple minutes after I sent the email accepting the internship, my phone starts ringing with gigs that I can't take (because they are on the same days as school/internship). I start feeling doubt/anxiety about taking the unpaid internship and doing that over very nicely paid work gigs. Then the anxiety turns into feeling overwhelmed which turn into feeling like I should just give up, and nothings even happening yet!
I over-thought it, like I almost always do (and am trying to stop doing). Instead of just being anxious about it and not really getting anywhere, I decided to try to analyze it. I realized that once I took money out of the equation (money is another thing that I over-stress about constantly) it was a no-brainer to take the internship. Once I put money back in, I start feeling anxious all over again. Money anxiety is another tangent, but I feel that by analyzing where the feelings were coming from, I was able to better deal with them and get over it (get rid of anxiety) much faster.
It does seem like everything happens at the same time. Yes, it would be easier if there was only one path you could take and you had no other choices. But making choices is part of what makes life exciting. I think I just need to keep seeing it as exciting rather than scary.
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